Simulator of the life of a 30-year-old in the UK

98 kostyal 115 8/17/2025, 8:44:08 AM nicksimulator.com ↗

Comments (115)

jamesalvarez · 8h ago
This could actually be good but instead it just comes across as a coded xenophobic rant. Wasted opportunity!
1dom · 8h ago
Great way of putting it.

This looks like ragebait.

First 2 things I saw:

- the idea that £100k deposit is needed to buy a house

- some weird stuff about nationwide initiatives and hypothesised awkward conversations with people who might be Muslims.

Maybe I got unlucky?

ffsm8 · 3h ago
Sounds more like you live in a better area then he does. And by better I mean with less issues, not richer necessarily.

While I admit that I don't live in the UK, I suspect it's similar to my experience from over the sea in Hamburg. I've recently moved there into a district with >50% migrants for roughly 3 yrs - not really expecting anything as I was still positive about everything.

Finding apartment listings in the online portals explicitly saying they will only allow Muslims was surprising to me, but I ignored it thinking, whatever.

Well, after moving into another apartment in the same area was an eye opener for me.

Really, I'm frankly surprised there are people still in denial how bad it's gotten. Well, not really surprised. I mean I was one of them in 2021.

spangry · 8h ago
I missed that bit. What did it say?
lucumo · 7h ago
The first three questions I got were:

- Wishing a colleague a Eid Mubarak, at which the colleague mentions that she's no longer of the faith.

- It's Odd Socks day for Alzheimer awareness. Will you take off a sock? (No -> Linda disapproves.)

- Bring your dog to work day, will you bring treats to work? (No -> it got canceled anyway because of complaints.)

This just sounds like an exhausting attitude to go through life.

extraisland · 7h ago
It is satire about working in a large corporation in the UK.
lucumo · 35m ago
Oh no, I got that. It's just satire of the whiny kind instead of actually funny or interesting.
extraisland · 2m ago
I don't Agree. I got a few giggles out of it. Especially the emails from "Linda", as I literally get those types of emails.

I think generally it was reasonably well done as a novelty joke website that is obviously trying to make a political point. That in itself makes it reasonably interesting IMO.

rvz · 3h ago
Exactly. Most HNers here are having a difficult time in telling what is satire these days.
extraisland · 3h ago
Some of events I swear are straight of Yes Minister or The Office.
ThrowawayTestr · 3h ago
Yeah, office life is exhausting
komali2 · 8h ago
Overblown dog whistles about "celebrate hijab day" or some such made-up nonsense I only hear about in conservative self victimisation fantasies.
extraisland · 7h ago
There is an option to that question where it has a relatively positive outcome and you have lunch with her and presumable are on better terms afterwards. Which tells me that the author isn't dog whistling at all and it is more a lampooning the weird cringe stuff that you are expected to take part in one of these large corps.

In fact something like this sounds like it comes straight out of office space.

password321 · 7h ago
I volunteered at a school. Rather than celebrating Christmas or Halloween, they had to celebrate Diwali because Christmas/Halloween might be too offensive or not inclusive enough. The country has gone mad.
komali2 · 7h ago
1. I don't believe your framing

2. What's wrong with celebrating Diwali?

3. Why should anyone care? Did anyone stop you from celebrating Christmas with your friends and family?

P.s. according to your post history you have based anti capitalist positioning on the pointlessness of most white collar labor, what happened to make you participate on the wrong side in a meaningless culture war that's just a distraction from the reduction in material conditions of the working class?

password321 · 7h ago
Well of course you don’t believe me, it goes against your narrative. But I’m sure someone living in Taiwan knows better than someone British currently in the UK.

Also that is quite an overreach on basic observations that are generally agreed upon and weren't anti-capitalist.

olddustytrail · 7h ago
I don't believe you because I live in the UK and the idea that people don't celebrate Christmas is beyond moronic. The shops start doing Christmas stuff the day after Halloween. It's unending Christmas songs for two months.

Tell me you seriously didn't notice this.

password321 · 5h ago
Shops != schools. Go to a school, they are brainwashing children.

Shops will do whatever makes them profit, they are not strictly run by the government.

komali2 · 1h ago
2. What's wrong with celebrating Diwali?

3. Why should anyone care?

Most neoliberals (your entire political class) would vehemently disagree with the idea that the labor market is as high as 30% inefficiency, least of all in white collar jobs. That's not how they believe capitalism works. In their fantasy, pointless jobs can't exist, or at least not at such a high volume, since the invisible hand of the market would eliminate them.

You are of course right and they are wrong but my point is not many would agree with us.

Neil44 · 8h ago
I knew it was going to be coded from the headline, wasn't sure in which direction. Cheers for saving the click.
extraisland · 4h ago
I wasn't. It was more a satire on some of the ridiculous stuff in UK political culture and corporate culture.

In it is literally has emails from Linda on total nonsense corporate cringe stuff that I am shielded from because I wfh.

thierrydamiba · 8h ago
Feature or bug?
derelicta · 7h ago
I know right. Folks don't understand that people who come to our countries are also workers whose countries have been destroyed by OUR elites. A bit of solidarity would be healthy, useful and anchored in reality.
subsistence234 · 6h ago
Whenever anyone on earth does something bad, it's basically Nick's fault. Nobody except Nick has agency or responsibility. They're all victims, except Nick.
dkiebd · 8h ago
And it’s actually good. Immigration does not do 30 year olds any favours. It only helps businesses and pensioners.
rhubarbtree · 8h ago
In the west there are not enough young people to support the elderly, and immigration of young people can help to address this problem to the benefit of everyone.
Telemakhos · 7h ago
I see this argument fairly often, but rarely do I see the premises questioned. Why do the elderly need to be supported? Wealth is concentrated in their hands (especially in the UK), while younger generations are struggling to be able to afford housing let alone build wealth. Perhaps society should focus less on supporting the generations who have already accumulated wealth and instead focus on supporting the generations who are starting families.
9dev · 4h ago
They need someone to literally care for them. In Germany for example, there are far too few people working in elderly care, and it’s a huge problem if we don’t want them to die of starvation, malnutrition or falling down the stairs with nobody to find them there.

Even wealth can’t magically summon the humans necessary to do that kind of work, robots are no solution for the foreseeable future and I don’t think starting a family is easy if you have to take care of your parents and/or grandparents.

dkiebd · 3h ago
There are far too few people working in elderly care because it pays peanuts. It pays peanuts because immigration increases the supply of workers. With a limited supply of workers and increased demand as more people get older, those jobs would pay well and natives would want to do them. It’s basic economy. It works well in countries that are not a free for all regarding immigration.
9dev · 2h ago
That is simply wrong. Social work has always been badly paid, exhausting, and ungrateful.

You’re twisting the past to fit into your contrived narrative of immigrants somehow wage-dumping us, but that’s simply wrong, it’s not what has happened in the EU.

dkiebd · 2h ago
I can go with your gut feeling or I can go with what I’ve seen in the market whilst looking for a woman to take care of elders in my family. Or with what I’ve heard from people in the hospitality and agriculture sectors.

It’s not that natives don’t want to work, it’s that immigrants undercut everybody. Not to mention what they’ve done to the housing sector of course. It’s unlivable. We run a country, not a charity.

Edit since I can’t respond anymore:

You assume two things: that you can’t work for less than the minimum wage (you can, since most elder care work is paid under the table) and that you can have a good life with the minimum wage (you can’t, unless you are okay with truly bad living conditions).

And a country has to prioritise the wellbeing of the natives first. You can’t destroy the lives of the poor and the young natives just to feel better about yourself.

9dev · 2h ago
It’s no gut feeling. My mother was a lifelong nurse. Again, I don’t know where you live, but in most western countries there’s a minimum wage preventing people from somehow undercutting other people, that’s not happening. Wages in the care sector haven’t dropped considerably since the first major migrations to Europe happened.

We run a country, true; not a capitalist venture. A country is also built on ethics, and that entails adhering to basic human rights for all humans.

dkiebd · 7h ago
No, you mean to the benefit of pensioners.

Plus there are enough people to care of old people. It’s just that immigrants cause such downward pressure on salaries that elder care is not a viable job sector for most.

oulipo · 7h ago
It helps everyone, migrants pay more taxes than they get out of the system in benefits. Plus they often do jobs that many people wouldn't otherwise
Telemakhos · 7h ago
Do migrants do jobs that native-born citizens would not under any circumstances do, or do they do jobs that native-born citizens would not do for the low wages that migrants are willing to accept?
9dev · 4h ago
We’re talking about minimum wage jobs, so the low wages are capped at the bottom for everyone anyway. And yes, there’s absolutely "native born" workers that will and do work for minimum wage already.
Gud · 4h ago
This really depends on the quality of the migrants coming.

The immigration policies of my home country Sweden has been detrimental for the Swedes.

I live in Zürich and there are a lot of foreigners here. Here it’s not so clear cut if it’s for the better or for the worse.

extraisland · 5h ago
Regarding the taxation argument. That may have been true in the past (it doesn't account that many of these people stay and then will need to supported when they become elderly) but under the "Boris Wave" immigration boom that is no longer the case.

It doesn't address the other problems such as social cohesion.

mike-cardwell · 8h ago
I live in the East Midlands in the UK. You can grab a reasonable first house here for less than £150k quite easily. So you'll need a 5% deposit, £7,500 for one of those. One person on an average salary for the area would be able to afford a mortgage for a house like this on their own. But Nick has a girlfriend, who can hopefully work, so should be able to afford it easily.

But half of people earn less than the mean salar though. So what about those on minimum wage? Well, one person with a full time minimum wage job should be able to get a mortgage for close to £100k, so wouldn't be able to afford a £150k house on their own. They could scrape by and get a house close to £100k though. There are plenty of these. Again, two people on minimum wage should have no problem.

I recognise that people have all sorts of different circumstances, so this is not meant to minimise the difficulty of affording property, but I'm just not recognising this claim from the outset that you need a £100k deposit or high paid job to get on the property ladder. It's hard, but it's doable for most.

And on top of this, Lifetime ISAS are a thing, so you only need to save up 80% of your deposit, the govt will pay the rest. And shared ownership is a thing, making it even easier.

1dom · 8h ago
Start pressing buttons and you'll see even more weird claims that most sane Brits won't recognise. This is a weird website that probably shouldn't be given much time.
Tade0 · 7h ago
The usage of the GOV.UK Design System is a nice touch though.
extraisland · 4h ago
I am from the UK and recognise most of the absolute nonsense highlighted. It is hyperbolic sure, but I kinda giggled at some of the gags in it.
extraisland · 7h ago
Many people want to live in close proximity to their family. There are good reasons for this (you have a support network).

I want to move back closer to my family as they are getting older. I would like to move back so I can spend more time with my father as he is retiring this year. To afford a flat in Dorset it is 30,000 deposit. A deposits on a house would be about somewhere between £30,000-£100,000.

These aren't mansions BTW. These are normal 2-3 bed houses.

> But half of people earn less than the mean salar though. So what about those on minimum wage? Well, one person with a full time minimum wage job should be able to get a mortgage for close to £100k, so wouldn't be able to afford a £150k house on their own. They could scrape by and get a house close to £100k though. There are plenty of these. Again, two people on minimum wage should have no problem.

My two bed flat (that I got cheap) is £110,000 and I am in the North-West. I've not seen any houses up here that were worth buying less than £200,000.

You typically need a 15% deposit on a flat. I managed to go with some rando building society and get 10%.

Any houses that are £150,000 are always in horrible parts of town or they are complete dumps and need complete renovation.

If you are on a minimum wage (I spent 8 years on it) it is difficult to save money and when something like the boiler goes you are screwed.

rhubarbtree · 8h ago
This is true. You don’t need a £100K deposit unless you want to live in a £1M house, which is not necessary in the UK. If you want to buy a big apartment in central London or a four bed house near London, sure. But most people would consider that a luxury and not a necessity to raise a family.
extraisland · 7h ago
My father just sold his house down south. It was a 4 bedroom house. I think he got somewhere between £500-700k for it. £1M for a house isn't that crazy in the South-West.

He bought it decades ago much cheaper.

gsliepen · 7h ago
> But half of people earn less than the mean salary though.

That's incorrect. Half of people earn less than the median salary. Depending on where you live, it could be that a lot more than half earn less than the mean salary.

mike-cardwell · 7h ago
Sorry yes. Brain fart. I meant median
MattPalmer1086 · 8h ago
I had to stop, it has some fairly nasty content in it (e.g. making jokes about LGBT people or not, taxes being spent on second generation immigrants).
ThrowawayTestr · 3h ago
I didn't see any jokes about lgbt people
phatfish · 7h ago
It's "viral" marketing for progress-party.uk, if you play to the end there is a link to a Google doc to register your interest.

The veiled racism and bigotry in the "sim" is cheap. The current housing situation may be made worse by migration, but the majority of it is legal so hardly the migrants fault if we are inviting them.

So blame the government (predominantly Conservative over the last 20 years) and all the NIMBYs and hypocrites that stop anything changing in this glorious country.

subsistence234 · 6h ago
> hardly the migrants fault

Of course not, but it's the fault of whoever lobbied for and passed those laws.

> we are inviting them.

Who is this "we"? It's not the British people.

archagon · 6h ago
> It's not the British people.

Maybe not you, but plenty of British people support immigration. Believe it or not.

defrost · 6h ago
The British people, of course, includes those British Nationals with English as a first language, who served in the British armed forces in World War Two.

The UK government, needing workers to help fill post-war labour shortages and rebuild the economy, invited many British people to come to the metropole.

Like all those dark skinned folk of the Windrush generation, and a good number of people who came across to the UK from India and Pakistan.

In more recent, pre-Brexit, years that invitation to fill a labour vacuum went out to fellow EU member states.

willprice89 · 8h ago
> You get a rejection email: 'Write a rejection email. Make the message sound particularly caring and empathetic. Make no mistakes'

That part actually made me LOL.

AlecSchueler · 1h ago
I feel like it's more particular than 30 year old. Seems to be a white, straight male with an Anglo Saxon heritage living in England. A black lesbian living in Derry would have a vastly different experience despite being just as much "30 year old in the UK."

This isn't a criticism just an interesting case of unconscious bias at play and how we tend to universalise our experiences.

_dain_ · 11m ago
>Seems to be a white, straight male with an Anglo Saxon heritage living in England.

This is in fact an extremely large, dare I say representative, demographic. Je suis Nicolas, 30 ans, aussi.

>A black lesbian living in Derry would have a vastly different experience despite being just as much "30 year old in the UK."

By the 2021 census population pyramid, about 12,000 / 1.9M = 0.63% of the population are 30 year old women in Northern Ireland, and about 0.58% of the Northern Ireland population is black. Maybe 5% of women are lesbian? Derry's population is 85,000. So 85k * 0.63% * 0.58% * 5% = 0.15 of a person.

>This isn't a criticism

You are in fact criticising it by accusing the author of "unconscious bias" (and racism by insinuation).

scrlk · 7h ago
This is inspired by the "Nicolas (30 ans)"/"The Social Contract" meme: https://xcancel.com/kunley_drukpa/status/1863959668357296496
mzhaase · 7h ago
This game is an ad for progress . At the end it has this link https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1OvkH4VxsIuG8uVN7qFbi7m_LMp_...
extraisland · 8h ago
Played a little. It is amusing. The ignoring emails from "Linda" about silly events in the office is a daily occurrence for me.

I like that the site seems to use the gov.uk styling.

rahimnathwani · 8h ago
How can Nick's rent be £4,500?

You can rent a nice, 2 bedroom flat with two showers+toilets, 13 mins' walk from a London Underground station in zone 3, for less than £2,000.

Even if they don't want to share with another couple, Nick and his girlfriend should each be paying less than £1,000, no?

GuestFAUniverse · 8h ago
Per quarter? It's not the monthly rent.
wiether · 7h ago
Worse, in my first scenario, I started a £4,500 but then "girlfriend" ask to move together, so apparently Nick was living solo And once they moved together, the rent moved to £5,500
bogdan · 7h ago
I'm confident whoever created this has never stepped foot in London, or if they did, it was briefly.
BurdensomeCount · 7h ago
> New Town Blocked

> A 50,000 home new town in Kent is blocked because they found nests full of agitated Chupacabras following the government's 'reintroduction' of the cryptid to British arable land. Your deposit requirement increases by £5000.

This is too real...

oncallthrow · 8h ago
The Nick meme is a great way of encapsulating how utterly sick of the UK young professionals are at this point.

There is no way to win. I know many young people who are very comfortably in the top 5% of earners in the UK, paying tens of thousands of pounds of income tax per year, and are still locked into paying massive amounts of rent, because it's near-impossible to actually own a house here at this point. So quite honestly, what is the point any more? It's really no wonder UK productivity is dropping.

It's really hard to describe how bad the general vibe is here.

Meanwhile pensioners sit comfortably in four-bed houses in London suburbs with triple lock pensions guaranteed by the government.

gchadwick · 7h ago
> It's really hard to describe how bad the general vibe is here.

Eh, think that depends upon your social circles, sure it's not perfect but the vibes just fine from my perspective. There seems to be a massive swelling of online opinion that everything's terrible and everyone's deeply unmotivated which certainly doesn't match lived reality for me

alun · 8h ago
Am I the only one who noticed the gov.uk theme? Pretty brilliant!
jacobp100 · 7h ago
The festival part is wrong - you can earn £1,000 from self employment without paying tax on it
rojeee · 5h ago
Nick should leave London and go live in the countryside - that’s the only place where traditional British values are alive and well.
PickledJesus · 8h ago
As someone sympathetic to this, throwing in the culture war stuff (make jokes about LGBT etc) is a massive own goal and makes it so easy for people to discredit. This could have far more cross-party support but it's just going to amuse the people who already agreed with it and make everyone else think it's the alt-right letting the mask slip..

No comments yet

admiralrohan · 8h ago
Sorry don't understand anything. Just randomly clicking. Need more context on why you did this and how this works. And how much agency do I have.
ajb257 · 8h ago
I think that's the point. You don't have any agency. There's no way to win.
scotty79 · 8h ago
About as much agency as in real life. That's the point of the game.
wildrice · 8h ago
How many liters of water does loading this webpage use?
varispeed · 8h ago
Just delete your old emails to balance it off.
rob_c · 8h ago
Tried that but it's still not raining
knorthfield · 8h ago
Do you mean nick sim or HN?
thrance · 24m ago
> "It's Celebrate Hijab Week".

Oh. Just more conservative self-victimization about made up issues. Truly pathetic.

p3rls · 3h ago
Feel free to add my experience

> Escape from system (fire protection trades)

> Build popular web platform for Korean pop music

> Google redirects all korean queries to indian seo scammers for three years (eg, google "BTS" or "BLACKPINK" and count the indian URLs)

Roark66 · 8h ago
C'mon... 3 years have passed and only two job offers applied for? What is Nic's degree in? Babylonian history? When I was in this position I applied to 20 ads per month. In addition to applying I had alerts on my phone, if a job ad dropped that matched my cv well I'd call the recruiter within 5 minutes of posting. I scored two great jobs this way. But this was in IT... I hear every other industry is much, much harder
globular-toast · 8h ago
Where is 100k for a house deposit coming from?! Don't most people start with a way smaller deposit? Like 5% is common these days. Yes you'll pay an enormous amount of interest. You pay rent to the owning class one way or another.
subsistence234 · 6h ago
> Don't most people start with a way smaller deposit? Like 5% is common these days.

5% down is insane. predatory lending IMHO.

rob_c · 7h ago
Probably to demonstrate that to ever actually be financially secure you should be paying off a significant part of your mortgage and not wage slave until retirement to only own 80% of the property due to inflation and rising costs.

If you're buying into the 5% you're probably so fiscally irresponsible that nothing good will come off it. The new builds aren't all magically appreciating in value by 20% every year. And if they did the better house you'd want to move into has almost certainly gone up by 30% or more.

rvz · 8h ago
The UK needs this...for its own embarrassment as the world laughs at them becoming irrelevant as a serious country that is in decline.
GuestFAUniverse · 8h ago
At least they have Ibuprofen /s
deadbabe · 8h ago
Every time I feel bad about living in the US, I just think it could be worse: I could be living in the UK.

Hang in there UK.