In the period they mention, I've gone from heavy socializing to nearly none.
It's a lot of reasons. My kids are grown. My need for new customers is sharply lower.
I've decoupled my self-esteem from societal expectations. This killed the carrot for a lot of my social behavior - like the need for small talk.
My resistance to things fades with age. Like the ever increasing heat. My tolerance of traffic. My tolerance of crowds - especially when it's enhanced by cluelessness (eg:conversations in choke points).
Plus I live with my 5 adult sons (thanks 4-income economy!) and we get on well.
bhasinanant · 7h ago
Is it just America though?
People are just going out lesser now, ever since Covid.
WarOnPrivacy · 7h ago
> People are just going out lesser now, ever since Covid.
My socializing was lessening every year before Covid. Now society is in sync with me.
onecommentman · 1h ago
A little historical context: Faith Popcorn [yes, that’s her monicker] and the concept of “cocooning”, introduced in the 1980s.
Have you been outside lately? Everyone is nuts lol.
WarOnPrivacy · 7h ago
Here where an 85° dewpoint is common and the 13th month of summer is the worst, heatstroke is a risk - day and night. Some unexpected outdoor behavior is expected.
Fade_Dance · 7h ago
The other day I was strolling through a sketchy and recently abandoned apartment complex on the way to a city park, with seemingly nobody around, and a scraggly guy suddenly was booking it at full sprint down the sidewalk right at me with a drill or nail-gun or something in his hands. I'm like "well, this guy is either completely insane and running from hallucinated demons, and perhaps I look like one to him, or he's on the run from a criminal offense or otherwise dangerous encounter after breaking in to the buildings..."
One of the big reasons is that bars are dead. They used to suck a lot of time out of the regular working populace, and the regulars at bars are almost exclusively boomers (or older), and maybe a few alcoholics. I go to a lot of local bars and it's almost always the same story from the bartenders about traffic over the past 10 years. Even the cheap ones that aren't flagrantly overpriced (and many/most are now) have very little new traffic.
WarOnPrivacy · 7h ago
> One of the big reasons is that bars are dead.
I only ever knew one guy who was a regular bar patron. He lost his license for DWI and was hit by a drunk driver while bicycling home.
Our peers all had parties and crashed where we were.
Bars always felt like a TV-Only thing. Like self-cleaning houses. Like making 40k/yr in LA and affording bars and nice housing.
Fade_Dance · 3h ago
Everywhere I've lived I've had no problems finding a local.
Most recent regular was a pub in an Irish neighborhood, staffed by Irish people (honestly a much better experience than "Irish" pubs), 4 bucks for a beer, and that's in an expensive city.
Though it can be easy to overlook the sort of hole in the wall places that function as the final holdouts with locals that have been going there for decades. I think it helps to be tolerant of divey places if you went to stumble upon them. I've found it quite nice - you get plugged into a social circle where there's zero expectation to do anything, although it can be a bit odd if everyone is from the immediate neighborhood and you are a bit further out. But I just give it to them straight and say "there aren't many bars like this around anymore" and if it's a good one you usually get a good bit of history that's interesting and of itself.
WarOnPrivacy · 1h ago
Well, yeah. I know bars exist. I tried to buy one once. And it seems to follow that people go there.
I belatedly recall that I had a friend who went to gay bars until aids did him in. It was early days. I think that's everyone. No wait. My brother did bars. He's dead too. Now I think that's everyone.
I knew lots and lots and lots of junkies, chronic alcoholics, daily drug users and teetotalers. I knew more people who made PCP than went to bars.
FWIW, I drank for 14 years but quit when I was turned 22.
It's a lot of reasons. My kids are grown. My need for new customers is sharply lower.
I've decoupled my self-esteem from societal expectations. This killed the carrot for a lot of my social behavior - like the need for small talk.
My resistance to things fades with age. Like the ever increasing heat. My tolerance of traffic. My tolerance of crowds - especially when it's enhanced by cluelessness (eg:conversations in choke points).
Plus I live with my 5 adult sons (thanks 4-income economy!) and we get on well.
My socializing was lessening every year before Covid. Now society is in sync with me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocooning_%28behaviour%29
One of the big reasons is that bars are dead. They used to suck a lot of time out of the regular working populace, and the regulars at bars are almost exclusively boomers (or older), and maybe a few alcoholics. I go to a lot of local bars and it's almost always the same story from the bartenders about traffic over the past 10 years. Even the cheap ones that aren't flagrantly overpriced (and many/most are now) have very little new traffic.
I only ever knew one guy who was a regular bar patron. He lost his license for DWI and was hit by a drunk driver while bicycling home.
Our peers all had parties and crashed where we were.
Bars always felt like a TV-Only thing. Like self-cleaning houses. Like making 40k/yr in LA and affording bars and nice housing.
Most recent regular was a pub in an Irish neighborhood, staffed by Irish people (honestly a much better experience than "Irish" pubs), 4 bucks for a beer, and that's in an expensive city.
Though it can be easy to overlook the sort of hole in the wall places that function as the final holdouts with locals that have been going there for decades. I think it helps to be tolerant of divey places if you went to stumble upon them. I've found it quite nice - you get plugged into a social circle where there's zero expectation to do anything, although it can be a bit odd if everyone is from the immediate neighborhood and you are a bit further out. But I just give it to them straight and say "there aren't many bars like this around anymore" and if it's a good one you usually get a good bit of history that's interesting and of itself.
I belatedly recall that I had a friend who went to gay bars until aids did him in. It was early days. I think that's everyone. No wait. My brother did bars. He's dead too. Now I think that's everyone.
I knew lots and lots and lots of junkies, chronic alcoholics, daily drug users and teetotalers. I knew more people who made PCP than went to bars.
FWIW, I drank for 14 years but quit when I was turned 22.