Anecdotally, this rings true for me. Father walked out on mother essentially, when I was in my early 40s. Rocked my world thoroughly, hadn't seen it coming. Several years of therapy to come to terms with it.
Baader-Meinhof · 28m ago
Also anecdotally, I experienced the opposite. After three decades of constant fighting, the divorce was almost cathartic. Their marriage was more traumatic for me than their divorce.
Interestingly, their relationship became much better after and they are ok as friends now.
foogazi · 48m ago
> This tilt towards later-in-life divorce is happening for a mix of reasons, studies suggest. Lives are longer than they used to be, for a start, and older couples may be less willing to put up with unfulfilling marriages than before.
Makes sense too if you stay together for the kids, then the kids aren’t kids anymore
giantg2 · 45m ago
I generally agree, but they're focused mostly on 65+ age group. That would make more sense around 45-55 if people are having kids in their 30s.
Swizec · 32m ago
> I generally agree, but they're focused mostly on 65+ age group
Another aspect possibly driving this: In USA a lot of people get divorced immediately after a cancer (or similar) diagnosis. That way only one of you goes bankrupt and you get to keep half your lifetime savings.
dottjt · 20m ago
On the contrary, you may get paid out a massive life insurance claim.
quesera · 12m ago
A few trends which might be relevant:
- First-time parenthood is frequently occurring later in life
- Couples are more often having (additional) children at later ages
- Children are sometimes not "launching" until later in their 20s.
So, 35yo first-time parents, ~40yo youngest-child parents, ~30yo children moving out ... That's 65-70 easily.
jacobolus · 7m ago
Alternately, it might be that the cohort now age 65+ was more likely to divorce than the previous generation at every age throughout their lives, and there were some kind of generational effects involved.
moduspol · 30m ago
> This tilt towards later-in-life divorce is happening for a mix of reasons, studies suggest.
My pet theory is an increase in treatments for "low testosterone" is a non-trivial contributor.
serial_dev · 17m ago
I’d be surprised if it made a dent… I’d probably first check the numbers on this… you are saying that because men can get their testosterone up even later in their lives, they either cheat, get sexually frustrated, or less likely to put up with their wives behavior? Interesting theory, but I would be surprised if the numbers supported this pet theory.
No comments yet
notmyjob · 1h ago
Bailing out on the responsibilities of caregiving of the spouse, thus forcing the burden onto adult children whose careers are cut short or obliterated may be one common reason this occurs.
foogazi · 55m ago
How is this different than death ?
lurking_swe · 46m ago
death is a single sad event. A specific day.
Unexpectedly becoming the sole caregiver of an aging parent seems different to me. I can imagine some resentment, especially if it’s unexpected _and_ one is already the caregiver for their own spouse, children, etc. It changes your life plans, adds additional daily stress in your life, and may also add financial stress.
No comments yet
giantg2 · 48m ago
Because you may have 2 different parents to care for instead of just 1. In general, this could also mean longer caregiving periods based on the ages of the divorce vs typical lifespan.
open592 · 48m ago
My reaction to be thrust into this responsibility is different if my parent just up and left vs died.
It’s my responsibility into the later and me assuming their responsibility in the former.
giantg2 · 49m ago
"Crowley found that the women faced an "economic penalty" after divorce"
Something tells me this doesn't account for the court orders.
Interestingly, their relationship became much better after and they are ok as friends now.
Makes sense too if you stay together for the kids, then the kids aren’t kids anymore
Another aspect possibly driving this: In USA a lot of people get divorced immediately after a cancer (or similar) diagnosis. That way only one of you goes bankrupt and you get to keep half your lifetime savings.
My pet theory is an increase in treatments for "low testosterone" is a non-trivial contributor.
No comments yet
Unexpectedly becoming the sole caregiver of an aging parent seems different to me. I can imagine some resentment, especially if it’s unexpected _and_ one is already the caregiver for their own spouse, children, etc. It changes your life plans, adds additional daily stress in your life, and may also add financial stress.
No comments yet
It’s my responsibility into the later and me assuming their responsibility in the former.
Something tells me this doesn't account for the court orders.