> This tilt towards later-in-life divorce is happening for a mix of reasons, studies suggest. Lives are longer than they used to be, for a start, and older couples may be less willing to put up with unfulfilling marriages than before.
Makes sense too if you stay together for the kids, then the kids aren’t kids anymore
giantg2 · 1h ago
I generally agree, but they're focused mostly on 65+ age group. That would make more sense around 45-55 if people are having kids in their 30s.
Swizec · 1h ago
> I generally agree, but they're focused mostly on 65+ age group
Another aspect possibly driving this: In USA a lot of people get divorced immediately after a cancer (or similar) diagnosis. That way only one of you goes bankrupt and you get to keep half your lifetime savings.
mhurron · 45m ago
> That way only one of you goes bankrupt
That's not why it happens.
If the wife gets ill, the marriage has about a 20% chance of ending because of it. If the husband becomes ill, there is only a 3% chance. It has nothing to do with financials and everything to do with the husbands lack of desire to care for their wife.
People who left the study were actually miscoded as getting divorced.
After the adjustment the correlation was less but was still there.
dottjt · 1h ago
On the contrary, you may get paid out a massive life insurance claim.
abirch · 1h ago
You don’t have to be married to be the beneficiary of life insurance policy. I believe you only need a financial interest.
quesera · 1h ago
A few trends which might be relevant:
- First-time parenthood is frequently occurring later in life
- Couples are more often having (additional) children at later ages
- Children are sometimes not "launching" until later in their 20s.
So, ~35yo first-time parents and/or ~40yo youngest-child parents, plus ~25-30yo children moving out ... That can get you to 65-70 years pretty easily.
jacobolus · 1h ago
Alternately, it might be that the cohort now age 65+ was more likely to divorce than the previous generation at every age throughout their lives, and there were some kind of generational effects involved.
cricalix · 2h ago
Anecdotally, this rings true for me. Father walked out on mother essentially, when I was in my early 40s. Rocked my world thoroughly, hadn't seen it coming. Several years of therapy to come to terms with it.
Baader-Meinhof · 1h ago
Also anecdotally, I experienced the opposite. After three decades of constant fighting, the divorce was almost cathartic. Their marriage was more traumatic for me than their divorce.
Interestingly, their relationship became much better after and they are ok as friends now.
newAccount2025 · 56m ago
I wonder what percentage of our feelings on the spectrum of “ok yeah makes sense” vs “omg how could this happen” is even based on the actual marriage.
GP’s comment vs yours mirror my brother’s reaction vs my reaction when our parents divorced. Same divorce, completely different feelings about it.
331c8c71 · 1h ago
I would assume ones's parents divorce would be much easier to come to terms with for someone in their 40s compared to 20s, teens or kids (that doesn't mean it wouldn't suck).
notmyjob · 2h ago
Bailing out on the responsibilities of caregiving of the spouse, thus forcing the burden onto adult children whose careers are cut short or obliterated may be one common reason this occurs.
foogazi · 2h ago
How is this different than death ?
lurking_swe · 1h ago
death is a single sad event. A specific day.
Unexpectedly becoming the sole caregiver of an aging parent seems different to me. I can imagine some resentment, especially if it’s unexpected _and_ one is already the caregiver for their own spouse, children, etc. It changes your life plans, adds additional daily stress in your life, and may also add financial stress.
No comments yet
giantg2 · 1h ago
Because you may have 2 different parents to care for instead of just 1. In general, this could also mean longer caregiving periods based on the ages of the divorce vs typical lifespan.
open592 · 1h ago
My reaction to be thrust into this responsibility is different if my parent just up and left vs died.
It’s my responsibility into the later and me assuming their responsibility in the former.
moduspol · 1h ago
> This tilt towards later-in-life divorce is happening for a mix of reasons, studies suggest.
My pet theory is an increase in treatments for "low testosterone" is a non-trivial contributor.
serial_dev · 1h ago
I’d be surprised if it made a dent… I’d probably first check the numbers on this… you are saying that because men can get their testosterone up even later in their lives, they either cheat, get sexually frustrated, or less likely to put up with their wives behavior? Interesting theory, but I would be surprised if the numbers supported this pet theory.
moduspol · 1h ago
Men with higher testosterone has been linked to cheating in various studies--honestly I thought this was common knowledge. And treatments for "low t" (targeted at middle-aged and older males) have been more and more common over the past few decades. I guess it just seems fairly plausible.
i have tried taking testosterone and it had several mind-blowing benefits and i can say with complete confidence that testosterone hrt is actually one of the most effective methods to save or hold together a heterosexual marriage. quite the opposite of what you think. such a shame that hrt is demonized by most people when its test rather than estrogen
lisbbb · 46m ago
Isn't the downside that once you're on TRT, your own body won't keep making testosterone, so you end up never being able to stop the injections?
smeeger · 39m ago
your body does stop making its own but there is no clear answer as to whether or not your body loses the ability to restart its own endogenous production. thats how new and also ignored/understudied testosterone hrt is… if you wait a fee years there might be new information or biomarkers that can help answer this question.
there are other things you can do to preserve your bodies natural T production. there are medications that induce it but its not been studied for long term use. there is also another hormone you can take called HCG that will cause your body to continue making test but its difficult to use.
gautamcgoel · 57m ago
What were the benefits?
smeeger · 33m ago
the biggest benefit was to my sleep and this is true of pretty much everyone who takes it. i was able to have very deep, restful and unbroken sleep. the best sleep of my life. normally i can barely sleep and wake up in the night and do not feel rested. ive been like that since my 20s and nothing touches it besides testosterone. other benefits include much better mood, a tendency to be much more open and likable, tons of energy and motivation behind everything i do and of course being much stronger is also nice. cardiovascular performance, the ability to do cardio heavy tasks and not get winded, massively increased. i loved it. but it made me less calculated and thoughtful which is important for my job so i decided to stop. i will almost certainly start again in the future.
even after stopping i noticed that there seems to be a lot more pressure on my heels when im standing. i think it has a positive effect on my default sympathetic tone or something like that. drawbacks are sleep apnea, hair loss and testicle shrinkage
giantg2 · 2h ago
"Crowley found that the women faced an "economic penalty" after divorce"
Something tells me this doesn't account for the court orders.
Makes sense too if you stay together for the kids, then the kids aren’t kids anymore
Another aspect possibly driving this: In USA a lot of people get divorced immediately after a cancer (or similar) diagnosis. That way only one of you goes bankrupt and you get to keep half your lifetime savings.
That's not why it happens.
If the wife gets ill, the marriage has about a 20% chance of ending because of it. If the husband becomes ill, there is only a 3% chance. It has nothing to do with financials and everything to do with the husbands lack of desire to care for their wife.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.h...
When a wife gets ill, she has a high chance of finding out how much her husband actually thought of her.
https://retractionwatch.com/2015/07/21/to-our-horror-widely-...
People who left the study were actually miscoded as getting divorced.
After the adjustment the correlation was less but was still there.
Interestingly, their relationship became much better after and they are ok as friends now.
GP’s comment vs yours mirror my brother’s reaction vs my reaction when our parents divorced. Same divorce, completely different feelings about it.
Unexpectedly becoming the sole caregiver of an aging parent seems different to me. I can imagine some resentment, especially if it’s unexpected _and_ one is already the caregiver for their own spouse, children, etc. It changes your life plans, adds additional daily stress in your life, and may also add financial stress.
No comments yet
It’s my responsibility into the later and me assuming their responsibility in the former.
My pet theory is an increase in treatments for "low testosterone" is a non-trivial contributor.
[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31326436/
[2] https://www.apa.org/monitor/dec06/testosterone
[3] https://uk.style.yahoo.com/men-high-testosterone-more-likely...
there are other things you can do to preserve your bodies natural T production. there are medications that induce it but its not been studied for long term use. there is also another hormone you can take called HCG that will cause your body to continue making test but its difficult to use.
even after stopping i noticed that there seems to be a lot more pressure on my heels when im standing. i think it has a positive effect on my default sympathetic tone or something like that. drawbacks are sleep apnea, hair loss and testicle shrinkage
Something tells me this doesn't account for the court orders.