This was pretty wild. Veers deeply into broad generalizations that have the potential to be dangerous in some way I cannot name - but if you stop and consider each archetype as a vector along which you can accidentally trap yourself, its a thought provoking read at least. Unfortunately its also a list of undesirable damaged characters followed by some model of a "whole man" that is somehow infinitely attractive and stable. That's a lot of malarkey in my opinion. We're on a many-dimensional journey and all of us are some degree of lost. Some good guide markers in here though.
I think it does boil down to "try things a lot," especially creating real connections with other people, even though you will painfully fail many times. Drive yourself to have real conversations. Protect your health and keep yourself strong physically and mentally. That's a powerful base to be standing on. Then go find a blend of interest, purpose and duty - building a sense of dharma helps you wake up in the morning and move through the world feeling a little less "lost."
x3n0n · 42m ago
Yes! Most of the first part and the archetypes seemed a little sour and dissppointed, even demanding, which apalled me from the author. I feel pretty whole, but i have my days - and so do you!
I really liked the suggestions at the end of the article, though. Really wholesome and a good direction.
xyzzy9563 · 1h ago
Just find someone you usually enjoy being around and can ultimately start a family with, and who would be loyal. Too many people are over-thinking this stuff.
atmavatar · 40m ago
> Just find someone ... who would be loyal
That's much harder than you realize.
Something close to half of all marriages fail. Significant numbers of men and women cheat. Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't. Significant numbers of men and women are abusive, both physically and emotionally.
People suck.
And, the rugged individualism (bordering on objectivism) cultivated so strongly within the US doesn't help things.
You may as well be telling someone not to be poor.
weeznerps · 25m ago
>Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't.
I think it does boil down to "try things a lot," especially creating real connections with other people, even though you will painfully fail many times. Drive yourself to have real conversations. Protect your health and keep yourself strong physically and mentally. That's a powerful base to be standing on. Then go find a blend of interest, purpose and duty - building a sense of dharma helps you wake up in the morning and move through the world feeling a little less "lost."
I really liked the suggestions at the end of the article, though. Really wholesome and a good direction.
That's much harder than you realize.
Something close to half of all marriages fail. Significant numbers of men and women cheat. Roughly 30% of children given paternity tests or even those who use ancestry services discover their assumed fathers... aren't. Significant numbers of men and women are abusive, both physically and emotionally.
People suck.
And, the rugged individualism (bordering on objectivism) cultivated so strongly within the US doesn't help things.
You may as well be telling someone not to be poor.
Not true in modern contexts. Misattribution of paternity is much closer to 1-2%: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34288189/, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237633127_How_Well_...
The 30% figure comes from men who already doubt paternity...obviously some strong selection effects there.
In addition, there are very strong cohort effects for divorce. For example, if you have a bachelors the divorce rate is more like 25%.
how do I avoid dating women like this one
fright night