Whether having a baby ruins your life or not

Feel squeamish about bodily fluids? Don't worry the kids will cure you. Nothing like trying to do a Matrix style bullet time dodge when you are changing a nappy and the cold air makes your son let loose with a stream of pee.

And then they look at you and giggle and the world is perfect. Wouldn't change it for the word, but enjoy life first then have the kids. Its not worse just very very different and you can't go back.

My most surprising observation about having children is that, although instinctively you think you'll be doing much much less fun stuff than before children, it's not actually true. Yes, there is a decrease, and you tend to be more tired. But even aside from whether children themselves are fun, I got much better at squeezing fun out of less free time. I'd say I do 80% of sports etc I did pre-kids. And then as the kids get bigger, they do become genuinely fun. I take mine climbing. It's not hardcore, more sweet and mellow, but it's fun.

What did massively change for me is relationship dynamics, but that's perhaps a different story.

But most of the scaremongering wasn't about teen parenthood. It was just about parenthood, and life once you have too many responsibilities to enjoy being a teen. So once you do reach the age that raising children is more responsible, you still have to get past the same fears.

Society has an irritating way of 'hazing' its juniors by telling them life keeps on going downhill. So far I've found the opposite, and that I'd be better equipped to handle it anyway.

Yes, I’ve had a baby fall asleep on my chest. Personally I prefer when a cat does it.

Yes, I’ve seen a baby sneeze. It doesn’t even register in my top favourite things and definitely does not make up for the rest.

Yes, I make my friends laugh, and I’ve made them wheeze hard until they’re out of breath with clever ideas we can all build upon. If your friends are faking laughs around you and in a way you can’t tell, I’m afraid to say maybe they’re just acquaintances.

Yes, I’ve been stared at with “unfiltered love and wonder”. By an adult, who has reason to and does it out of genuine felt affection for the person I am and the things I do, not simply because I’m the person in front of them and they’re ignorant of everything around them.

And on and on. I could address literally every point.

Look, you do you. If you enjoy being a parent, more power to you. But this list doesn’t really “[contribute] to the debate” nor will it “help others make up their mind”, especially when the cons are clearly dishonest or at best uninformed by a fatherhood which hasn’t even spanned half a year yet. You’re either trying really hard to convince yourself that you like being a parent (which is a bad sign) or you’re genuinely so happy (good sign) that you just wanted to gush to the world. Which is fine, sometimes we just want to share what makes us happy and that’s positive, let’s just not pretend this list is in any way an honest attempt at conversation.