Ask HN: Facing unemployment – what now?

14 octo888 10 5/16/2025, 6:36:03 PM
Hey everyone, I could really use some advice.

I’ll likely be out of a job soon — whether I’m fired or I quit first. Health issues, silent breakdowns, being on the spectrum, poor social skills have caused me to damage my work relationships beyond repair.

So, I'm planning my next steps.

Some context:

- I’m 40.

- I struggle with networking, so I have no professional connections.

- My savings can last about two years, and a part-time job could stretch that.

- I haven’t interviewed in years and get extremely anxious in interviews.

- I'm a tech generalist

- I'm quite disillusioned with tech + corporate world, and a bit burnt out. This AI hype, Agile, having to fake excitement about the latest shiny new thing, KPIs etc.

People say I'm pretty good with 2 non-tech things. There are some relatively easy (but not free) qualifications/courses I could do in those areas (I don't want to dox myself here with specifics). I'm open to being self employed.

I also would like to use this time to focus on my health (I have things I need to escalate with my doctor and I need to work on my body), see more of my family, and work on my mental health. I'd also be interested in using my skills for something other than making a rich person richer - something local, for a charity perhaps.

...or am I dreaming and this an indulgence I can't afford?

If you have advice, ideas, personal experiences, etc, I’d really appreciate it.

Comments (10)

RhysabOweyn · 9m ago
If you have the means/opportunity to go back to school and do another profession that you have interest in, I recommend it. That is precisely what I did with my SWE earnings. Take it slow though, I breezed through a harder degree plan my first time around college and proceeded to do much worse at the start when I went back. I had to be realistic and take a lighter course load.
nuancebydefault · 25m ago
Sounds like you need a break of 3 months to half a year, where you don't think about work. Do stuff that gives you energy. Hiking in nature, visit friends, make or listen to music. Do meditation (just search for a meditation audio/video on YouTube if you do not know where to start. If you can afford it, seek professional counseling. Make sure to exercise or at least walk a lot. Write regularly in a journal what gave energy, what took energy and how you are feeling. Keep in touch with family and friends. Good luck!
anigbrowl · 1h ago
Pick up an exercise program and give it 5-10 hours a week. It'll give you routine, non-critical goals that you can just plod toward even on days you don't feel like it (but you'll feel better afterward), improve your general health, and provide you with a topic for small talk. Yes, pursue your non-tech interests.
rootnod3 · 1h ago
What area are you in?

I get the disillusion. If your saving last you a while, it might be worth to work on something for yourself. It doesn't have to be a multi million dollar VC startup. Just something that pays the bills and is sustainable.

Best advice for now might be to just at least for 3-6 months take a break, work on stuff you enjoy and see from there.

octo888 · 58m ago
> What area are you in?

I hope it is okay, but I prefer not to say. It is a place with not so high cost of living. There are not really many VCs here, but I think that is not something I would want to do anyway.

> Best advice for now might be to just at least for 3-6 months take a break, work on stuff you enjoy and see from there.

I think I am afraid of not getting a job again in an industry that pays quite okay and is not too difficult compared to others.

But I had six months off in a similar situation in 2010, and it was okay in the end. But at that time, I was much younger than now :-)

alganet · 34m ago
I don't understand your concern. You're afraid to not get a job, so you won't even try? I am sorry, but it doesn't make any sense to me.

Also, about the age stuff, sounds like youve been drinking the wrong kool-aid. Almost all markets in tech still have great opportunities for 40-years-olds.

You're not sure if you want to go solo or not? That seems unclear to me as well. There are all sorts of investors. If you have the drive to build things and talent, you can definitely attract good investment opportunities.

Harsh criticisms, I know. But you need to think what really is making you hesitate and confront that.

octo888 · 22m ago
> You're afraid to not get a job, so you won't even try?

I genuinely feel I need a break and need to work on other things. And I feel jumping into a similar tech job would make my mental health situation worse.

The point I was trying to make that being unemployed for a long period makes it harder to get employed at the same level/pay again

> Almost all markets in tech still have great opportunities for 40-years-olds.

Great!

> You're not sure if you want to go solo or not? That seems unclear to me as well

I'm open to self employment, just not not grinding away at a tech product in the hope to get VC money. I don't think I have the passion for tech right now to do that

malux85 · 5m ago
> I genuinely feel I need a break and need to work on other things. And I feel jumping into a similar tech job would make my mental health situation worse.

You just answered your own question. 6 months off, now. You can afford it.

Don’t try and answer all the other questions about getting another job or who to work for or retrain in another field or all that stuff - you’re not in the right frame of mind to answer those questions until AFTER you have had your rest. You will still think about all of this a lot during your rest period, and by the end of it you will have your answers.

So there you are, rest and work on those physical and mental health issues you mentioned above. There’s your answer.

octo888 · 4m ago
[delayed]
pavel_lishin · 1h ago
> - I struggle with networking, so I have no professional connections.

Do you have former coworkers? If so, you have professional connections, no?

alganet · 1h ago
Advice: apply for job interviews.