Ask HN: I don't want to work in software anymore. Where do I go?
43 needtoquitmyjob 27 4/29/2025, 6:36:00 PM
I live in NYC and I have about 6 years of experience. Out of the 4 jobs I've had, I loved one of them, but I just couldn't bear the rest. I love building software, and I've worked with a lot of great people, but the overall culture just isn't for me. I have been abused too many times.
I don't know what to do now. And, I am worried that if I do enter another industry, it won't actually be different than where I am now. I don't have a degree, so I'm assuming I have to start from scratch. Some options I've been considering:
1. New career. Maybe a trade? Aviation maintenance? Nothing specific sticks out to me. 2. Move to another country. This was prev recommended to me after I mentioned my job didn't treat me like I was human - apparently European countries (Denmark, Sweden) are much better? 3. Find a new job. But, I don't know how to find one that I would like, if it is even possible. 4. Learn how to deal with a bad job. I don't know how to do this, or if it is even possible, or if it's a good idea. 5. Start my own company. I would love to do this. But, I don't have a lot in savings. Maybe I could try finding a part time job just to stay afloat?
What do you recommend?
I think you will both find and wont find you are abused in most lines of work.
Seems like a lot more work to change industries (with probably a similar risk of being abused) than to just find a software position where you aren't being abused IMO.
One of the most enjoyable jobs I had was working for a small company that made [digital] audio equipment (before that was possible on a PC) - we had sound systems in every office and a small recording studio in the basement. Most of the engineers were also musicians. We had software people, analog people, and music and radio production people.
This is good advice. I'm a dev in a manufacturing company (admittedly quite a large one) and the culture here is very different to pure software businesses I've worked in. There are deadlines, but they're realistic. People go home on-time. Little or no fashion-driven development practices and platform churn, mostly just pragmatism and an emphasis on stuff that works. I share a building with proper engineers (mechanical, electrical) as well as other devs and the culture is so refreshing. When you look around, there are lots of businesses like this just quietly getting on with things.
Of course that was before everyone just threw in a wifi interface and a web server.
I would question whether the problem is that you don't want to be in the field at all, or that you are fed up with specific positions/companies that are a poor fit for you. You only have 4 jobs in your history, and having 3 of them suck can be pretty gloomy.
So maybe consider doing contract-to-hire, where you're working 6 month (or so) contracts. That lets you sample the work environment at different companies and when you find one that works well for you, you'd have the option to stay as a permanent employee.
I'll throw these random ideas in along with it:
- Work/life balance is something you enforce on your own. Learn to get over fear of being fired (an emergency fund helps) and simply refuse to follow unspoken toxic overwork culture. I have found that more likely than not, nobody actually notices that you aren't working as hard as all the 10x developers that have no life and the people who imitate them.
- On the topic of "field versus company," another aspect to keep in mind is that the actual job of software development is very different in different industries. Moving to the same job in a different industry may feel a lot different and have much different norms regarding workload, culture, compensation, etc.
- Don't forget that desk jobs in software are still some of the best work you can do overall. Not only is it a desk job where you are generally treated like an adult, it's one of the higher paying ones at that. Think very hard about the grass on the other side of that fence. Your example of aviation mechanic sounds like it could be ripe for shit work conditions (physical job, being out in the elements, having to go on location physically 100% of the time, working for extremely low-profit-margin companies, I would think that it's only decent if it's got a strong union and that in itself will be a barrier for you getting into it)
- Consider how you evaluate companies during job interviews. Focus on finding out if the company, manager, and team is the right fit for you. Spend less headspace on trying to impress the company and make sure they are impressing you. (I am not sure if this is true but I think a lot of candidates who do this in interviews are perceived as knowing what they're doing because they are expressing a very clear idea of what they want out of the role)
- There are other ways to use software developer skills that aren't a software development job directly. One example is working on the customer side in pre-sales or post-sales.
You know, now that I think of it, my own career didn't really take off until I adopted this mindset. Great advice, even if hard to implement.
In my experience, people do notice, but there's nothing to be done about it. Companies, unless they pay top dollar, can't expect 10x performance out of their developers (because 10x devs are so rare) - they expect and are fine with just 1x, and anyone delivering 10x is a nice bonus for them. In other words, managers are realistic and know what the money they spend on workforce can buy them.
Agree. With no degree, but a skill and interest in programming coupled with experience, you're actually in a pretty good place. Find a company that doesn't suck. They seem elusive but they exist. They might not pay as well, but you can get through the day without counting the seconds until it's over.
Shit companies are always hiring because they have high turnover, so it would seem like all companies are shit, but they are not.
Maybe get out of NYC. If you are in the straight tech industry, think about doing tech in another industry, they all need it.
FWIW, there will always be times of stress in tech, but if the place is actually well managed, those times would be minimized.
It will help you figure out the type of career that will work for you.
In particular, knowing the ‘language’ that you speak… will help you find the right career path.
A language being… do you enjoy working with numbers, with people, outdoors… etc…
I took a break from city life and regular work for a year while I lived and traveled in an RV doing contract work. It was fun for a while, but I missed having a challenge and feeling like I had a stake in what I’m working on. I now work remotely in a town that has nothing to do with tech, and my friends here work largely in tourism and real estate. They all get treated like shit compared to software engineers. It made me thankful for my place in life. I’m likely moving back to the SF Bay Area after my lease ends here.
2. If you are young and healthy military is still an option.
3. Pick up a trade where you use your hands, like plumbing or construction.
4. Go back to school and become a lawyer.
5. Go work at a charity, such as a homeless shelter.
The first thing is to know what you like and what you would rather do. I was in the same boat as you about 2 years ago. I was a JavaScript developer who loved writing applications in JavaScript. The problem is that almost nobody else in the workforce could write applications in JavaScript, so it was miserable with a bunch of insecure pretenders.
Try comedy! Making good, funny content is hard. I think if you try hard, you can do it, eventually. The world needs it right now.
That's just a random suggestion. As others said, without a clear background on your intentions, it's impossible to know what to suggest.
I've been in software for around two decades, many employers, and never have been abused. Can you specify what the abuse was about?
I could write down my experiences many peoples will cry so hard under my comment so better I will leave a quote.
"Whatever you do, Knew it before start"
If I were looking for a trade I’d probably apprentice as a plumber or electrician. But that work can be stressful and demanding too so start by working on yourself so you practice dealing with stress better.
I also came back to software later.