A certain sense of "being invaded" in modern digital life—we are constantly surrounded by advertisements, promotions, notifications, and requests for data collection, with our personal space being continuously eroded. People long for peace, freedom, and the right to decide for themselves what information enters their lives.
resonious · 42m ago
> Thank you for reading! If you would like to comment on this post you can start a conversation on the Fediverse.
No, I want to be left alone.
sroussey · 23m ago
On the Fediverse, you are alone.
AndrewKemendo · 16m ago
My thoughts exactly
The pervasiveness of “I only want to interact with others on my terms” is one of the most alienating parts of humanity
I think it’s a common feeling which tells you something about the absurdity of the human condition
catpetter · 34m ago
I want to pet your cat, though.
jackvalentine · 37m ago
I bought a 5 year old Lenovo x13 and installed Debian on it, haven’t used linux in years but wanted to play around.
Installed, logged in for the first time and got the ‘welcome to KDE’ screen, dismissed it and then… nothing.
Every time I log in… nothing.
It just sits there waiting for me to do something. It doesn’t tell me to do anything. I’ve been mostly using it to play Civ2.
ryandrake · 14m ago
The idea of a technology device just sitting there waiting for your command, without bombarding you with notifications and dinging and buzzing, and without trying to beg and convince you to do something, is so anachronistic! I'm thinking back to my Commodore 64 or my DOS PC where you just turn it on, and it just prompts you, the user who is in charge to decide what to do this time.
OsrsNeedsf2P · 28m ago
But how are they going to make money?
tomrod · 9m ago
Through selling durable goods that don't have planned obsolescence
photonthug · 6m ago
Open-source / noncommercial isn't exactly a cure for the steady drip of "like and subscribe" type of harassment these days. Probably just because commercial interests have pushed user-harassment so hard for so long that the window has shifted and now users expect harassment, and because at least some makers actually feel their work is less professional if they don't engage in harassment.
Open your laptop, dismiss ubuntu wanting to update stuff; open firefox and have your adblock extension popup to tell you how many ads it blocked and to give you a helpful advertisement for updating your adblock; open a web page, any webpage, dismiss at least 3 popups for cookies, decline to signin in google/facebook, decline the newsletter. Get another browser extension to solve these problems, it will probably have pop-ups to tell you about "what's new". Open github to look at some code, get asked to star the project above the fold in the documentation. Forget what you even wanted to do with a laptop, close it, dive into much more productive work by figuring out the best way to feed your laptop into the kitchen garbage disposal in small pieces. Just another Tuesday
rgmerk · 10m ago
Apple gets this better than any other company IMO.
You literally pay a premium to be bothered less than the alternatives.
tomrod · 7m ago
I don't really trust apple all that much. Especially when there is better OS and devices. Though I know a few devs who prefer it.
mudkipdev · 6m ago
Can you give an example of the alternatives?
rgmerk · 1m ago
Windows on the desktop. Android phone.
rootusrootus · 53m ago
I feel this so, so much. The internet was so much better before it got commercialized and polluted with non-stop politics, hype, influencer crap, etc. I just want to be left alone, I know what I want, I don't want you to try and force it on me, trick me into it, etc. I want to have a functioning email account my friends can use where the messages won't get drowned in a sea of spam. I want a phone that only rings when someone I know calls.
We've created such a shithole, a perfect mirror of society I guess.
reliabilityguy · 28m ago
> The internet was so much better before it got commercialized
I wonder if we can say the same about our streets (billboards, neon signs, etc etc) compared to, say, streets 200 years ago?
el_memorioso · 9m ago
Yes, we can. A couple of years ago I drove through Maine and Vermont, and it was absolutely beautiful. Not only because of the natural beauty of those places, but because of the lack of billboards anywhere. It was nice to just enjoy the scenery without being constantly bombarded by ads. The city of São Paulo also banned ads a while back and it made the city a nicer environment to live in and revealed the beauty of some of the architecture that was previously hidden by masses of billboards.
jonathanlb · 12m ago
Alaska, Hawaii, Maine, and Vermont seem to think so. They outlawed billboards to maintain the natural beauty of their state.
I know a few towns in various US places that do things like:
1. Prohibiting large signs that can be seen from far away
2. No stores over 2 stories tall
3. No big box / chains stores
And wow, those places are magical!
tomrod · 8m ago
2 is probably too low for a city. 6 to 12 outside a business center hit just right.
bell-cot · 3m ago
I'm not quite that old - but back that far, there was far less pavement. Far more dust and mud. And far more excrement from horses and other livestock.
However obnoxious it might look, today's streetscape pollution lacks the odor, flies, and infectious disease hazards of yesteryear.
SteveNuts · 14m ago
I swear to god, every single day I have at least one app with a pop up tooltip asking if I'd like a guided tour of all their new features and latest UI shuffle musical chairs. Bonus points if I'm presenting my screen at the time.
Honestly software is almost infuriating to me on a daily basis to me nowadays, I don't know if I'm just curmudgeonly or if software just sucks now but I want everything to just get out of my way when I'm trying to do something.
I guess you could say I want to be left alone...
tonymet · 25m ago
The deeper problem is being able to nag someone at any time
awesome_dude · 19m ago
We were just lucky to be early adopters, it was inevitable that what we loved, and told others to have a look at too, was going to be loved to death by people looking to make a buck
rootusrootus · 7m ago
Yes, I agree, in retrospect it was inevitable. I was lucky to be coming of age (and especially naive) at the right time, and so I didn't even see that inevitability. It just looked like an unqualified good to young me.
galoisscobi · 52m ago
Not an option with modern UX. It's yes or maybe later.
If Silicon Valley was a living human being, it would be a guy in the nightclub going up to everyone and saying "Want to dance? [YES | ASK ME AGAIN]".
EGreg · 47m ago
My car keeps telling me to bring it in for Inspection B. No matter how many times I cancel, next time it comes back. I guess eventually people do it just so the message goes away.
Remember when cars started beeping until you put on your seat belt?
rootusrootus · 3m ago
> Remember when cars started beeping until you put on your seat belt?
Yes, that was ... this morning? I guess now that I think about it, maybe it does stop after a moment. Though if I start moving, it definitely starts beeping again.
No maintenance for 200K miles though, so I'm hoping to avoid any messages about bringing it in. I'll find the magic keys to turn that off if I must.
stronglikedan · 7m ago
> the message goes away
that's cuz the mechanic knows what buttons to push to reset it. the instructions are probably online, and easy.
vel0city · 39m ago
If you did your scheduled maintenance on your own by the book, you would have done the right button combo to actually clear the maintenance notification. Or if you took it to a competent shop they would have done it for you.
I'd highly recommend doing the scheduled maintenance on your car. Whether at a dealer, at your trusted shop, or on your own. For your own safety and those around you.
monkeyelite · 9m ago
Companies do have an ego-centric view of relationships. Of course our customers want to know what's happening. Of course they want to sign into our website and see their account.
And all of the measures that the article is complaining about do help with usability metrics - especially when measured in a fake corporate study.
It's much harder to consider the role we want technology to play holistically as a part of an entire life.
kazinator · 12m ago
> Do you want to sign up for our credit card? No, I want to be left alone.
Wrong answer!
"I already have one!"
Instant pitch snuffer-outer.
ryandrake · 8m ago
I want to go back to buying devices where I don't have to maintain some kind of stupid relationship with the manufacturer for the product's lifetime, like requiring an account or an app with constant updates. Manufacturers, leave me alone! No, I don't want to have to create and maintain a fucking Sonos account, I just want a speaker that plays music.
dfabulich · 20m ago
One of these things is not like the others!
> Do you want to go ad free? No, I want to be left alone.
The ads, by definition, won't leave you alone.
awalsh128 · 50m ago
Don't forget when you choose to opt-out but then start getting random spam from other businesses because they sold your email address. Also fun is when they send email anyways.
jbmsf · 24m ago
Bartleby was right.
pbreit · 42m ago
How people feel about the government.
ryandrake · 34m ago
"The government" is not trying to get me to do any of those things listed on the site. Corporations are doing this.
dghlsakjg · 23m ago
Frankly, I feel just the opposite in terms of what 90% of the government does on a day to day basis.
I do want the government to continue maintaining my road and the network it connects to.
I do want the government to respond quickly when a water main breaks on Sunday morning.
I do want the government to maintain their fleet of emergency service vehicles.
I've lived in countries where these things don't happen, and no one there was happy about being left alone. Frankly, I normally only see this sentiment from people who have never lived in places with truly dysfunctional government.
If you want to truly be left alone by the government there are places you can go to be where the government will not concern itself with you in any practical way (in the US if that's where you are, or internationally if that's more your flavor). What you will discover is that it turns out that it is very difficult to live in a place where you have to manage all of your own infrastructure and services.
satisfice · 39m ago
Not how I feel. I like government. I want to be left alone WITH my government-- who I think of as my fellow citizens trying to do their best.
bdangubic · 35m ago
amazing there are still people like (I mean this sincerely!) who think this way. fellow citizens trying to do their best is about as far removed of realities of my government (usa) that it is almost surreal reading your words
dghlsakjg · 18m ago
There are many levels of government that provide many levels of service.
When I encounter this sentiment it is almost always from someone that has never lived in a country with a dysfunctional government.
Despite all of the well publicized and fair criticisms of governance in the US, you still live in a place where you can - for one of many examples - count on the water being safe to drink in 99% of circumstances (I grew up in Lima, where not only was the water unsafe to drink, it frequently just wasn't on. Every house had a backup water tank. That's in a good neighborhood in the Capitol).
Go spend some time outside the US in a non tourist area, in a developing country. The level of functionality when you come back to the US will be a palpable relief.
wrs · 28m ago
There are many, many US government employees this accurately describes. Well, to be clear, many of them just got fired.
ericjmorey · 26m ago
There were a lot of people trying to do the best they can and doing great things until Trump started fucking that up by firing them. Now there are 10s of thousands of people getting paid not to do what used to be their jobs. and many more not getting paid at all. Trump's attacks on competency are going to be felt for the rest of our lives.
smitty1e · 37m ago
And then the natural disaster hits and we're all: "What about those fat piles of cash I paid in taxes? How about some relief?"
And the government is all: "You wanted to be left alone."
neuralkoi · 24m ago
The most valuable thing you have is your attention, everyone out there is going to fight tooth and nail for it, especially if they can make a dollar.
This would be a good checklist self test. Because I bet you most of us say yes to a bunch of these but not always the same ones.
Mistletoe · 47m ago
I actually love text reminders of doctor appointments so I don’t forget them. The rest I can pretty much agree with.
loloquwowndueo · 32m ago
I’m perfectly capable of adding an appointment in my phone’s calendar and set up an alert to remind me, thank you very much.
(And actually when the doctor sends an email confirmation that the appointment was booked, the phone offers to put it in the calendar automagically)
Mistletoe · 2m ago
Yeah I don’t have to do any of that if I get a text.
cryptoz · 54m ago
I think a surprisingly large number of people don't want to be left alone. That's why all those tactics are so popular - they work because people do opt-in to all this stuff because they actually want it.
tonymet · 28m ago
My boomeritis flares up when I’m asked to “confirm” my appointment. It was confirmed when we made it. Are you asking me to “re-confirm” the appointment ? Now I’m not sure if we had one to begin with.
No I don’t want to confirm it. I want to show up and have you ready , like you’re supposed to
stavros · 15m ago
They're just calling to see if you're still coming in, or if you've canceled and didn't notify them. It happens all the time, or they wouldn't waste their time calling.
aag · 19m ago
And don't tell me I have an appointment for 2pm so I should show up at 1:45pm. That means the appointment is at 1:45pm. Just say so.
us-merul · 10m ago
I had to show up for something 10 minutes early or else the appointment would be cancelled (at least according to the form). Kind of defeats the purpose of setting the time I chose.
jesseendahl · 15m ago
I legitimately wish there was an option for: "I show up for my appointments 100% of the time and I'll agree in advance to pay a giant fee if I ever don't show up, if you promise not to bother me with appointment confirmations every time".
randycupertino · 10m ago
My friend who is single says that if people don't reconfirm the date the day of then it's presumed to be cancelled. She had a guy just not show up because she didn't confirm the day of the date or the day before. She was like... we just set the date on Wednesday!
I think because flaking/bailing has become so common people this is expected now. Maybe with appointments this carries over, although I'm sure with high cancellation fees and strict policies they can mitigate a bit.
muppetman · 22m ago
boomeritis! I have never read this before and I love it.
awesome_dude · 21m ago
Mumble: "We have 3 pm on Tuesday available, would you like that to be booked for you"
Me: Yes please
Mumble: "I'm sorry, that time is not available, can we find you another time that would suit"
Me: Why you little....
satisfice · 37m ago
No one commenting here wants to be left alone.
No one reading the piece in the first place wants to be left alone. If you wanted that, you wouldn't say to yourself "I wonder what this guy has to say" and then click his thing.
I read and leave comments on Hacker News for two reasons: I want to know I'm not alone, I want to be helpful.
photonthug · 24m ago
This misses the point completely? Wanting to know that you're not alone and wanting to be left alone are completely different, despite the word choice. Surely you realize this. Saying that "I prefer to avoid unsolicited harassment from corporate interests" is hardly the same as saying "I'm an unapologetic misanthrope".
nixosbestos · 43m ago
Heard, felt, strong agree. It's like trying to explain how irrationally upset I am that Liberty Mutual is sending physical mail to my parents house. I do not reside there. I do not reside in the US. I am neither a candidate nor even able to take advantage of any of their products.
But they bought my info, and so now USPS is delivering this trash into "my" mailbox (my mom texts, opens it, scans it, etc). I will NEVER buy anything from a flyer.
So I'm going to idle, every working hour next week, on the phone with Liberty Mutual sales staff. If they can harass me and waste my time, why can't I do it right back?
It's like last year when 3 different airlines opted me into text alerts. I was already getting them in-app and in-email.
Honestly I think people are so absent minded, distracted, ADHD-Y that they don't even realize how intrusive and annoying this deluge of consumerist capitalist sludge is to your mental state. Of course people also think I'm crazy when I tell them my phone stays in DND mode.
arjvik · 48m ago
> Do you want to pet my cat? Yes. Yes I do.
:)
sneak · 40m ago
You seem to be a minority. Consider for a moment that the default behavior of the gmail app is to make a notification for each and every incoming new email.
Look at a normal person’s email inbox sometime.
Most people use default settings and are barely even aware that it’s configurable. They just put the info in the boxes until it stopped giving red exclamation marks and smashed the big button at the bottom without reading the field labels, the checkbox labels, or even the big button label.
Users don’t read, and most people aren’t as busy as us. They spend 3 hours a day watching television, a few more playing video games, have never heard the term “inbox zero”, and don’t know any of the steps to make that red bubble that says “65,535” on the gmail
icon go away.
adamhartenz · 30m ago
I think you just proved the point. These people want to be left alone more than you. You seem find dealing with notification. Other people just ignore it, because for whatever reason they leave the default settings. But they really don't care about the wall of notifications sent at them. They just want to be left alone.
markus_zhang · 53m ago
TBH I have a full family and I want to be left alone for at least half of the time.
Damn I was so stupid and weak to NOT stay alone.
polishdude20 · 33m ago
If you'd go back in time would you just choose to stay single?
dvt · 52m ago
This gives a little "old man yells at cloud" vibes. Like, I get that some people are more misanthropic than others, but I personally have forgotten about appointments so text reminders were nice, I'm in plenty of Discord servers, getting help can be nice sometimes, etc.
Even if you're not religious or spiritual (which I would bet the author isn't), at the very least the natural process of evolution seems to value the idea of community and togetherness, so shunning it seems a bit shortsighted.
ryandrake · 38m ago
I don't think this rant is about misanthropy. It's about consent and about the exhaustion of having to defend your own attention everywhere you go and no matter what you do. Companies need to stop trying to get us to engage with them.
dvt · 27m ago
It absolutely is about misanthropy. You can't convince me that these have anything to do with your attention, it's mostly just being a dick to people that work in the service industry:
> Do you need help with self-checkout? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to leave a tip? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to round-up? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to leave a review? No, I want to be left alone.
It's extremely obvious the guy has never worked as a barista, bartender, waiter, or salesperson, because I've dealt with people like this in real life and it's as exhausting as his post.
ryandrake · 19m ago
OK so you're ignoring the rest of the page and zeroing in on one or two lines, trying to make this specifically about tipping and service workers. This is not a personal rant against baristas and bartenders. It's a general plea to companies to stop trying to grab our attention and get us to do things.
What does "turn on notifications" have to do with service workers? What does "give us your phone number to get a coupon" have to do with service workers? What does "subscribe to our newsletter" have to do with service workers? What does "sign up for our credit card" have to do with service workers? It just sounds like you have an axe to grind and picked this article to do it.
dvt · 4m ago
> just sounds like you have an axe to grind
An axe to grind? I'm just commenting on the article, my guy. It seemed a bit misanthropic and gave my reasoning. Literally all of those things are occasionally useful to people and are commonly known as "customer service."
Have you seriously never used a coupon you got via text? Have you never signed up for a credit card deal? I mean, some stuff I get (time share deals or whatever), but agreeing to a terms of service has got you all up in arms? Really?
No, I want to be left alone.
The pervasiveness of “I only want to interact with others on my terms” is one of the most alienating parts of humanity
I think it’s a common feeling which tells you something about the absurdity of the human condition
Installed, logged in for the first time and got the ‘welcome to KDE’ screen, dismissed it and then… nothing.
Every time I log in… nothing.
It just sits there waiting for me to do something. It doesn’t tell me to do anything. I’ve been mostly using it to play Civ2.
Open your laptop, dismiss ubuntu wanting to update stuff; open firefox and have your adblock extension popup to tell you how many ads it blocked and to give you a helpful advertisement for updating your adblock; open a web page, any webpage, dismiss at least 3 popups for cookies, decline to signin in google/facebook, decline the newsletter. Get another browser extension to solve these problems, it will probably have pop-ups to tell you about "what's new". Open github to look at some code, get asked to star the project above the fold in the documentation. Forget what you even wanted to do with a laptop, close it, dive into much more productive work by figuring out the best way to feed your laptop into the kitchen garbage disposal in small pieces. Just another Tuesday
You literally pay a premium to be bothered less than the alternatives.
We've created such a shithole, a perfect mirror of society I guess.
I wonder if we can say the same about our streets (billboards, neon signs, etc etc) compared to, say, streets 200 years ago?
https://www.billboardsin.com/states-where-billboards-are-ban...
1. Prohibiting large signs that can be seen from far away
2. No stores over 2 stories tall
3. No big box / chains stores
And wow, those places are magical!
However obnoxious it might look, today's streetscape pollution lacks the odor, flies, and infectious disease hazards of yesteryear.
Honestly software is almost infuriating to me on a daily basis to me nowadays, I don't know if I'm just curmudgeonly or if software just sucks now but I want everything to just get out of my way when I'm trying to do something.
I guess you could say I want to be left alone...
0: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43774770
Remember when cars started beeping until you put on your seat belt?
Yes, that was ... this morning? I guess now that I think about it, maybe it does stop after a moment. Though if I start moving, it definitely starts beeping again.
No maintenance for 200K miles though, so I'm hoping to avoid any messages about bringing it in. I'll find the magic keys to turn that off if I must.
that's cuz the mechanic knows what buttons to push to reset it. the instructions are probably online, and easy.
I'd highly recommend doing the scheduled maintenance on your car. Whether at a dealer, at your trusted shop, or on your own. For your own safety and those around you.
And all of the measures that the article is complaining about do help with usability metrics - especially when measured in a fake corporate study.
It's much harder to consider the role we want technology to play holistically as a part of an entire life.
Wrong answer!
"I already have one!"
Instant pitch snuffer-outer.
> Do you want to go ad free? No, I want to be left alone.
The ads, by definition, won't leave you alone.
I do want the government to continue maintaining my road and the network it connects to.
I do want the government to respond quickly when a water main breaks on Sunday morning.
I do want the government to maintain their fleet of emergency service vehicles.
I've lived in countries where these things don't happen, and no one there was happy about being left alone. Frankly, I normally only see this sentiment from people who have never lived in places with truly dysfunctional government.
If you want to truly be left alone by the government there are places you can go to be where the government will not concern itself with you in any practical way (in the US if that's where you are, or internationally if that's more your flavor). What you will discover is that it turns out that it is very difficult to live in a place where you have to manage all of your own infrastructure and services.
When I encounter this sentiment it is almost always from someone that has never lived in a country with a dysfunctional government.
Despite all of the well publicized and fair criticisms of governance in the US, you still live in a place where you can - for one of many examples - count on the water being safe to drink in 99% of circumstances (I grew up in Lima, where not only was the water unsafe to drink, it frequently just wasn't on. Every house had a backup water tank. That's in a good neighborhood in the Capitol).
Go spend some time outside the US in a non tourist area, in a developing country. The level of functionality when you come back to the US will be a palpable relief.
And the government is all: "You wanted to be left alone."
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ii4YJK_-RTk
(And actually when the doctor sends an email confirmation that the appointment was booked, the phone offers to put it in the calendar automagically)
No I don’t want to confirm it. I want to show up and have you ready , like you’re supposed to
I think because flaking/bailing has become so common people this is expected now. Maybe with appointments this carries over, although I'm sure with high cancellation fees and strict policies they can mitigate a bit.
Me: Yes please
Mumble: "I'm sorry, that time is not available, can we find you another time that would suit"
Me: Why you little....
No one reading the piece in the first place wants to be left alone. If you wanted that, you wouldn't say to yourself "I wonder what this guy has to say" and then click his thing.
I read and leave comments on Hacker News for two reasons: I want to know I'm not alone, I want to be helpful.
But they bought my info, and so now USPS is delivering this trash into "my" mailbox (my mom texts, opens it, scans it, etc). I will NEVER buy anything from a flyer.
So I'm going to idle, every working hour next week, on the phone with Liberty Mutual sales staff. If they can harass me and waste my time, why can't I do it right back?
It's like last year when 3 different airlines opted me into text alerts. I was already getting them in-app and in-email.
Honestly I think people are so absent minded, distracted, ADHD-Y that they don't even realize how intrusive and annoying this deluge of consumerist capitalist sludge is to your mental state. Of course people also think I'm crazy when I tell them my phone stays in DND mode.
:)
Look at a normal person’s email inbox sometime.
Most people use default settings and are barely even aware that it’s configurable. They just put the info in the boxes until it stopped giving red exclamation marks and smashed the big button at the bottom without reading the field labels, the checkbox labels, or even the big button label.
Users don’t read, and most people aren’t as busy as us. They spend 3 hours a day watching television, a few more playing video games, have never heard the term “inbox zero”, and don’t know any of the steps to make that red bubble that says “65,535” on the gmail icon go away.
Damn I was so stupid and weak to NOT stay alone.
Even if you're not religious or spiritual (which I would bet the author isn't), at the very least the natural process of evolution seems to value the idea of community and togetherness, so shunning it seems a bit shortsighted.
> Do you need help with self-checkout? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to leave a tip? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to round-up? No, I want to be left alone.
> Do you want to leave a review? No, I want to be left alone.
It's extremely obvious the guy has never worked as a barista, bartender, waiter, or salesperson, because I've dealt with people like this in real life and it's as exhausting as his post.
What does "turn on notifications" have to do with service workers? What does "give us your phone number to get a coupon" have to do with service workers? What does "subscribe to our newsletter" have to do with service workers? What does "sign up for our credit card" have to do with service workers? It just sounds like you have an axe to grind and picked this article to do it.
An axe to grind? I'm just commenting on the article, my guy. It seemed a bit misanthropic and gave my reasoning. Literally all of those things are occasionally useful to people and are commonly known as "customer service."
Have you seriously never used a coupon you got via text? Have you never signed up for a credit card deal? I mean, some stuff I get (time share deals or whatever), but agreeing to a terms of service has got you all up in arms? Really?