Bitcoin: The HEIST OF THE CENTURY – Is it a credible scenario?
He wanted to build the world’s first Bitcoin Reserve.
But… he couldn’t just buy BTC with public money. Too risky politically.
So he asked his advisors:
“What’s the best way to grow America’s Bitcoin stash?”
Ideas flew across the room:
“Launch more fraud investigations.” “Tax transactions and buy BTC with the proceeds.” “Use our energy to mine it.” “Seize it legally.”
At that last suggestion, Trump slowly raised his head, eyes narrowing.
And that’s how it all began…
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But seizing BTC isn’t easy.
Investigations are long. International cooperation? Messy.
What if… the U.S. staged the theft themselves?
Problem: stolen BTC must be returned to its rightful owners.
Unless… those wallets belong to no one. Abandoned forever.
A plan takes shape:
1⃣ An “unknown actor” appears—hidden, shady, yet shielded by a big name: Salomon Brothers.
2⃣ Over months, the narrative builds. Media outlets amplify it: “Abandoned wallets are a risk to Bitcoin’s future.”
3⃣ Then, this actor, with the undercover help of state-level tools and computing power, quietly crack those old wallets.
Headlines explode:
“Bitcoin security in question!” “This is theft!” “Private property rights under attack!”
And just when panic peaks… enter the U.S. authorities.
They “save” Bitcoin.
The U.S. government steps onto the stage, stern-faced and righteous.
Officials hold press conferences: "America will never tolerate theft. Property rights are sacred.”
The rogue actor is prosecuted.
Handcuffs, courtroom sketches, a trial that feels more theater than justice, or even better: a closed-door deal.
He plays the perfect villain — but everyone knows he’s a scapegoat.
Property rights reaffirmed.
The judges declare: “Even abandoned wallets remain private property.”
A global sigh of relief. Bitcoin survives. Headlines celebrate:
“Bitcoin Saved by U.S. Authorities.” “Rule of Law Protects Digital Property.”
Applause everywhere.
Crypto bros cheer Trump as the hero who defended their dream.
The financial world bows before America’s “leadership.”
And while the cameras flash… billions in BTC quietly flow into the U.S. Bitcoin Reserve. They have been officially seized and don't have any owner.
The “villain”? Generously compensated behind the scenes. He won’t go to prison — after all, he only misinterpreted the notion of private property. He could even benefit from the Witness Protection Program. New identity, new life, and big money
A heist without any victim. The perfect crime.
Bitcoin secured. U.S. power reinforced.
And all of it… looking completely legal.
1) have an ECDSA backdoor
2) are going to burn it on this
I'm not sure. NIST is already on thin ice so they wouldn't just burn the backdoor, this would probably be the last thing anyone trusts from them. Typically these intelligence agencies don't blow stuff like this on money since the federal government can just issue more treasury securities if they're short on that. Finally if bitcoin wallets are broadly compromised there's little value in "holding" it as you can't prove you're the only person able to spend it.
I'm very doubtful.