Ask HN: How to Deal with a Bad Manager?

I'll give this a shot, speaking from experience.

I’ve worked as a consultant with small and large organizations for most of my career, and I’ve seen this exact situation play out more times than I can count.

If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self not to stick around under bad leadership or in an unhealthy environment. It’s rarely worth it. Even if you care deeply about the mission, a toxic manager will slowly drain your motivation and confidence. I stayed in a few of those situations too long, thinking I had to tough it out. I didn’t, and neither do you.

The projects I’m most proud of were with teams I genuinely enjoyed working and growing with. That’s not a coincidence.

Start quietly looking. The right environment can bring out the best in you in ways this one won’t.

I really hope it works out for you.

Going over their head can turn into a pretty sticky situation, because your skip might actually do something, and you might still be working for that manager.

Also, this is a tricky job market. I ran into a similar situation years ago, tried to fix it, and ended up just switching companies since it was a smaller outfit and I fell out of love with the project.

I think the safest thing for you to do, is to try and secure a transfer, or if you have to, a new job outside the company. This took me months, it might take some time. So be ready to knuckle down if you gotta.

On your way out, tell your skip what's going on, and how much you like the project and the mission. Maybe, just maybe, they'll fix the management problem and invite you back.

There isn't enough data to make a blanket recommendation, so here are some things to consider. All are generalities and can be ignored if certain specifics override them, so use your judgment.

- If your employer is doing well, it is better to stay longer and get promoted from within. (Based on "Relatively good one" I'll assume this is the case.)

- If your employer reorganizes frequently, is supports the "Stick it out case."

- If your employer encourages people to find their own new jobs within the company, that is usually the best route. (This isn't always the situation. In many companies you need your current boss's blessing) Based on your explanation it seems like this isn't the case.

- If you are learning a lot, add that to the case to stay.

- If your new manager has ethical issues (as opposed to just competence issues) start your search right now. Not 30 minutes from now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now.

- Same if you're put on any kind of performance improvement plan (PIP). Don't think "I'm competent, I can work my way out of it". PIPs are paper trails to keep them from getting sued. Consider the duration of the PIP to be your severance.

- As you've figured out, it's rarely a good idea to go over your manager's head unless you have an outstanding relationship with the CEO or similar who would ask you later "Why didn't you come to me first?"

- If you have to leave, find a new job first. Then be professional on the way out, and don't throw your manager under the bus. Just say, "I really enjoyed working for you, a dream opportunity came up." You never know when they'll be asked for a back-door reference check on you.

- Similarly, don't badmouth your boss when you interview. (You don't want to seem like someone easily discontented.) You can say "It's now or never to leave, and I think your company has a much better future. I'd rather invest in my career there."

Good luck navigating this!

Depends on the level of bad.

Most of the time managers aren’t bad, they just aren’t partially good. They want you to jump up or down in a particular way.

Whatever, as long as you don’t mess with my money I’ll do what you want. The rare truly shit bosses I’ve had would lie to me about my own pay. In one exceptional case they decided to not pay me until 60 days after I started. This wasn’t communicated until after I worked there for a month.

Another instance I won’t talk about.

Then again, I did quit 2 jobs just because my manager was an idiot. If I find a better job anyway why not. Life is too short to deal with stupid people

If you can transfer to another team internally, do it. Otherwise start looking for another job. I’ve done both to escape bad managers. In my experience there is no way to “fix” a bad manager. The only solution is to leave.

[delayed]

There is nothing you can do. Either you get paid enough to put up with the nonsense or you don't. If you don't, look for better pay at your next job.

[delayed]

There’s this saying - you don't quit a job, you quit a manager.

Either tough it out until the next reorg and hope for the best, or start working on your resume :(

Talk to your skip

Life is too short to put up with such useless idiots. As others have already mentioned, either talk to your skip (and above if required) or start quietly looking.

I would also add, look out for yourself. No one is going to look out for you - and be careful who you talk to.

work just fast enough to not get whipped

Quit.

Smile and wave (boys) - turn up for the cheque, with a big heaping scoop of malicious compliance.