I like how C# and Java have completely different "personalities" even though the former was heavily inspired by the latter and syntax and semantics are extremely similar.
Shows that the "brand" of a programming language doesn't just depend on the language itself but also on what projects are using the language.
antonymoose · 1h ago
I find it interesting that they choose a quirky Unity-based personality. I’ve done C# in a split IBM Mainframe / Microsoft shop so I’m far more inclined to view it as a stodgy suit wearing persona than anything else. All my Java gigs have been flip-flops and t-shirts kind of jobs.
xg15 · 40m ago
Yeah, not sure who the author is, but it feels a bit like a college student's PoV. I think C# got a popularity boost through it's inclusion in Unity - so if you're a hobbyist or a freshman, you very likely only know it the context of Unity.
Same with Objective-C, which is technically a general-purpose language from the C family, with a history that predates the iPhone by decades - but is nevertheless basically "the iOS app language" today.
MomsAVoxell · 2h ago
Lua, my favourite of them all, is pretty well done, imho. Sassy, Brazilian, ass kicker. Fun.
gavmor · 5h ago
A lot of the jokes about JavaScript being messy come from historical quirks—like loose equality, type coercion oddities, or the way `this` behaves—but the ECMAScript specification has been steadily improved over the years by ECMA TC39 (the committee responsible for developing the standard).
Likewise PHP has been somewhat inconsistent historically and carries its own legacy quirks—but it's JS that gets mocked, because why?
Meanwhile Java—although designed with a cohesive strict, statically typed, object-oriented sensibility—has seen fit to add lambda expressions, stream APIs, record types, and pattern matching, following some of the same trends as ECMA TC39.
So, when it comes to developer ergonomics—which, I daresay, is the subject of this satire and the preeminent aspect of a language most hotly debated—does JS really deserve the hate? There must be some other current of thought—some dark matter—warping the discourse.
edem · 4h ago
You don't have to use PHP so there is no reason to mock it. You just know it is shit and you move on. Unfortunately you __have to__ use javascript sometimes (or always) so there is reason to mock it. That's the reason why people always mock JS. It is omnipresent and you have to touch it with your bare hands.
MaulingMonkey · 3h ago
And to back up your point: Whenever someone in my circle does have to use PHP (job, legacy nonsense, etc.) they absolutely do mock it. They also mock the codebase they work on for similar reasons. Part venting, part communication of the footguns - such that others might learn from what they had to learn the hard way, and perhaps part bribe - that others might share their own footguns in commiseration and trade.
archerx · 3h ago
I’m sorry but Personal Home Page is not shit. It’s quite nice, it’s like using a comfy version of C designed for the web.
edem · 2h ago
You can have your opinion of course but rhe majority disagrees.
archerx · 44m ago
Doesn’t mean that they are right.
archerx · 3h ago
PHP has been relentlessly mocked for the past decade, there were websites dedicated to making fun of its quirks. Things only started turning around after PHP 7.
userbinator · 6h ago
I was hoping to see APL or one of the other array languages make an appearance.
vaylian · 1h ago
It's probably some guy/gal who carries a big toolbox full of letters and symbols
rambambram · 4h ago
I added the RSS feed to my reader, the file is 'rss.php'.
Shows that the "brand" of a programming language doesn't just depend on the language itself but also on what projects are using the language.
Same with Objective-C, which is technically a general-purpose language from the C family, with a history that predates the iPhone by decades - but is nevertheless basically "the iOS app language" today.
Likewise PHP has been somewhat inconsistent historically and carries its own legacy quirks—but it's JS that gets mocked, because why?
Meanwhile Java—although designed with a cohesive strict, statically typed, object-oriented sensibility—has seen fit to add lambda expressions, stream APIs, record types, and pattern matching, following some of the same trends as ECMA TC39.
So, when it comes to developer ergonomics—which, I daresay, is the subject of this satire and the preeminent aspect of a language most hotly debated—does JS really deserve the hate? There must be some other current of thought—some dark matter—warping the discourse.