Don't ask to ask, just ask

16 thunderbong 3 8/21/2025, 2:35:45 AM dontasktoask.com ↗

Comments (3)

phendrenad2 · 14m ago
This drove me crazy in online discussions until I realized that 99% of the time, people who "ask to ask" don't just have a question, they want someone to be their dedicated tech support or mentor who will hold their hand and walk them through it, or will outright do the work for them. Now I just mentally filter these requests out and pretend they don't exist.
gentooflux · 20m ago
"Can you do me a favor?" "Can you come here a second?" "HELP!"

It's an attempt to use emotional leverage to acquire assistance.

In the author's case they're appealing to prowess; "if you can help me with this then clearly you are an accomplished java person."

In my first two examples it's usually someone leveraging the nature of your relationship; "if you care about me you'll do this/look at this for me."

In my third example they're probably drowning or something and are trying to get someone's attention before that happens.

It's all very needful.

musicale · 53m ago
Since we haven't worked out etiquette for messaging systems we end up with things like:

    Hi.

    : ...

    can I ask a question?

    : apparently